Here goes nothing.

I. Have. So. Much. To. Say.

I can't even begin to tell you the number of ideas I've had for blog posts recently. I just couldn't find time. But here I am, back with a mission. I am, slowly and surely, going to get my blog caught up, and then start keeping it right. I know, I've said that before, but this time I have a plan. But I'll get to that in a moment. First, I want to say: this is going to be epically long. And it's going to have a lot of photos. Prepare yourself.

What's new with me? Let me see... I started college! I now live in a dorm! I had a birthday! I'm now 18! My cousin got married! Yes, lots has happened, and it's all BIG. Worth mentioning. I could probably make dozens of full blog posts out of each of these topics, but I'm going to cram them all together for now. Perhaps I'll return to them in the future and flesh them out a bit. But I've got to start somewhere

The sea of gold shirts at CU's convocation last week.

College is... different. The first weekend, setting up my room, and first week of classes was completely hectic. I feel like I'm beginning to find a routine, but it's definitely taking some getting used to. I'll be talking more about this at my official college blog, which can be found here: http://cubookstore.blogspot.com/ It's important to know, if you're reading this, that I didn't go very far from home at all, and I can't even begin to explain what a good decision that was. Anyway, overview: I'm doing a 15 credit semester, and I'm a film major. I'm enrolled in Intro to Film, Women in Film (Honors), Constructions of Knowledge, Advanced Writing, and British Literature (which was formerly Physics, good switch).

In my next post, you'll see a virtual tour of my dorm room, something I've been promising I'll do, so go check it out.

Of plans, matches, and bad moods

Hello dear blog-o-sphere. More and more, I've been thinking of how I'd like to blog more, but not just that - how I'd like to blog about more. I love writing movie reviews, but I think it's time to expand. In the future, I'd like to fill this blog with a variety of different kinds of entries: journal-style posts, creative pieces, philosophical or even political thoughts... basically, I'd like to open this up for more of an "anything goes" kind of publishing. I'm not sure how well I'll carry through with this, but it's important for me to get this out there so I can feel free to put up any kind of entry I like.

I've been in a bit of a funky mood today. My family just got back from a trip to the mountains, and I'm feeling the time-crunch before school starts. Basically, I've got this week, then next Tuesday I'm off to Canada for 7 days for my cousin Marie's wedding, and then 2 days after that, I will be moving into my dorm. In my mind, this day, August 20, is D-Day. It's when my life ends - I mean changes. When life-as-I-know-it ends. I dunno, this move to college just feels SO big that, wrapped up with the general gloom that summer is ending, it all feels a bit daunting right now.

But that's not what I want to spend the entire post talking about. I was inspired, this afternoon, to pull out a book I haven't looked at in a long time. It's called The Writer's Book of Matches - and it includes 1001 short and simple prompts to get you writing. Random things, either scenes or quotes that are meant to get your brain moving. Example: A reclusive young woman sets out to conquer her phobias. Or in quote form "That is the biggest bird I have ever seen." Anyway, I just wanted to get my mind off things today, so I sat down with one of the prompts and wrote a bit. I thought I'd put it out in the world, just so I have something to do with it. Enjoy!

---

“Go ahead, compare me to your life’s work.

Just once I’d like to know where I stand.”

I glared at Timothy as he lowered his paintbrush and wiped his hands carefully on the rag he kept tucked into his belt. For several months now, I had put up with the steadily-growing group of goddesses his studio featured more and more. All of them seemed to stare at me now, wondering how I dared to invite such a comparison.

When I had first met him, Timothy Smithson had been busy painting landscapes. Flowers, fields, sunshine… all that lovely nature stuff. I thought it was sweet, but a bit boring. Now, I’d give anything to see a bit of grass instead of the gorgeous women that seemed to challenge me from all sides.

He always talked about the changes he wanted to make in each picture, how each should be improved. Over time, they did seem to be evolving, almost turning into woman gorgeous superwoman. I never knew what he was trying for, but over time, I began to understand that it must be his idea of the perfect woman.

Tim blinked in that lazy way that I so adored, only this time it only made me more angry.

“Answer me, damnit!” I cried.

“Julie, the women that I paint aren’t your competition,” he chewed the words around carefully before speaking.

But I didn’t care what he had to say. I was a volcano that had sat dormant for years on end, and nothing was going to stop a full-out eruption now.

“You spend 8-hours a day in this attic, working with these muses of yours… Refining the shape of their bodies, their lips, their eyelashes. How do you expect me to feel?” He knew it was a rhetorical question. “I feel like I don’t even know you lately,” I said with a frown.

“You don’t understand--” he started, but I cut him off.

“And what was with last night?”

It was our third anniversary. We had reservations at Le Petite Diamant, a nice and fancy restaurant downtown. I had spent hours getting ready; he barely made it out the door on time. Over wine and appetizers, we began reminiscing, a sweet conversation for an anniversary.

But then he had become distant, his eyes slightly unfocused, until he scrambled for the scrap of paper and charcoal pencil that he always kept with him. He sketched quietly for a moment, while I took the time to peer carefully over my shoulder.

At the table directly behind us, a beautiful woman sat. You know, the kind that has probably been on a magazine cover at some point in her life? Perfect model features; the perfectly pouting lips, the perfectly flirty eyes; the perfectly fitting dress.

As I looked back at Tim, I carefully glimpsed his sketch, of a face that was already taking shape, a face that looked familiar. In fact, it looked an awful lot like the likely-model behind me. I had made it through the rest of dinner that night, but barely.

“Last night,” he echoed, lamely.

“You couldn’t stop admiring the other women around us long enough to look at me!”

He frowned, but it wasn’t a look of guilt, but rather one of confusion.

“Jules…” he began. He shook his head slightly.

“And then you just had to rush home to paint the bimbo sitting behind us. Never mind that I’m left downstairs on a friday night, on our the night of our anniversary, all alone!”

"I wasn't painting any women from the restaurant," he shook his head again, but didn’t say any more. I let the silence grow for a moment.

“I didn’t mean for it to be like this,” he finally said.

“Like what?” I snapped.

Without saying anything, he turned his easel around.

It was like looking into a mirror. Each of my features had been replicated perfectly. My hazel eyes seemed to glint in the unseen light source. My too-thin lips turned upward in a slight smile. My shoulders were set in a determined stance.

“Wha?” was all I could manage, unable to pull my eyes away from the portrait of myself.

There was a fumbling noise from behind me, and as I turned to see what it was, an astonishing sight met my eyes.

Tim was standing with his palm outstretched, gently cupping a ring. A ring! A diamond ring! My brain raced to catch up with the events happening around me.

“Jules, it’s all been about you. I knew I could never call myself an artist unless I could paint - truly paint - the person in this world who mattered most to me.”

I swayed a little bit, reaching out to steady myself on the table next to me.

“Julie Henderson," he said in a strong voice, "Will you marry me?”

---

Haha, I guess I must have weddings on the mind. But anyway, it was just for fun. It was interesting seeing how the little prompt grabbed me and started sparking thoughts, the way my mind kept adding layers until I had a miniature story. I think I'm going to try using more of these prompts whenever I have some free time and feel like writing. It's a nice exercise for the creative mind I want to develop.

Well, that's about it from me. On a final note, I want to share with you a website I spent some time last week creating. It's basically a collection of my favorite photos - pictures of various parts of my life, my travels, my family, etc. It can be found here. Please enjoy.

Hope your day is cheerier than mine. Cheers.

Summer Time and the Living Is NOT SO Easy

Can it be that this is my first blog post of the summer? That's hard to believe... especially because I've been off school now for exactly 19 full days. (Wow.) To say I have a lot to talk about would be a bit of an understatement. I'm a bit afraid of talking about anything that will feel like "old news" - but perhaps I'll get over that, write the entries that have been floating around in my head for weeks, and then move on to blogging more regularly. That is, after all, one of my goals this summer.

First, though, let me take a step back and do a little bit of maintenance here. This summer, I do not have a job or very many fixed plans. I have a few little things littering my time here and there (CU Orientation in July, Marie's wedding in August, etc)... but overall, I am FREE. My overall goal this summer is to rest, relax, recharge, to do the things I want to do, and beyond that, to be creative. Let me take that a bit at a time...

When I picture an ideal summer day, it involves sitting at our neighborhood pool with a cool drink and a good book. Classic, right? It involves me, a person who sleeps in until a reasonable hour, reads a lot, sees a great number of movies (in and out of theaters), exercises regularly, and floats through days - being productive where I need to be, and someone who is, overall, very happy.

This plan has hit a few snags. SNAG #1: The weather. It hasn't reached above 70 in the past few weeks here. The last two days, we have had INSANE torrential rain storms in the afternoons, with clouds the rest of the time. In short, sitting at the pool sounds a long way away. I know that as soon as hot weather hits, I'll be lusting after this cool weather once again, but right now it feels rather depressing. SNAG #2: [I need to preface this by saying that I am not complaining, merely stating the factual evidence of events.] My mother had a hip replacement surgery two days after I returned from LeakyCon. The recovery has been harder than expected and, most recently, I have been doing enough work for several people in this house... Myself (live my life), what my mom usually does around the house (namely clean), what my mom usually does for herself (like get dressed, shower), and what my dad should be contributing to helping with my mom (he's out of town). Needless to say, I'm a bit burned out. I do not want to complain - my mom needs help and I see no reason why I should not have to give it to her - but this is A LOT right now.

And so I find myself stuck in an odd limbo... What I'm waiting for, I don't quite know, but I feel like my summer has yet to begin. Maybe when my mom gets better, maybe when the weather improves, maybe when I get the first round of "tasks" done to begin the summer... Maybe then I'll settle in. But for now, honestly, life seems kind of blah.

I mean, I'm reading and watching movies - certainly. I'm enjoying my new camera, my photos and memories of LeakyCon, my graduation gifts, THE IPHONE I JUST FRIKKIN ORDERED. Life is by no means BAD... it just hasn't hit the high note I was expecting as soon as the chains of high school were lifted.

So, now that I've talked myself into this dark hole of what very nearly sounds like a bit of depression, let me back up and flip on the optimism switch. More importantly, let me do what I do well: make some goals, plan some ideas... And maybe, just maybe, I can still turn my blah summer into a fabulous one.

BOOKS: I'd love to read 52 books in 2009. A book a week sounds pretty darn impressive and with all this time this summer to skew the average, I bet I could do it. Going into the summer, I had read 14 books. Since getting back from Boston, I have turned that into 18. (For comparison, there have been 23 weeks so far, I think). Not too bad for little over two weeks. I'm currently making my way through all of Maureen Johnson's books - Right now I'm reading 13 Little Blue Envelopes, and then all I have left is Devilish. But, I have so much more I want to read, including (but not limited to):

- Seer, Wizard, and Hunt Quest by Lisa DeGroodt

- Sense and Sensibility and Persuasion by Jane Austen

- The Lightning Thief by Rick Riordan

- The Book Thief by Marcus Zusak

- Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins

- Dracula by Bram Stoker

- 1001 Arabian Nights

- The Illiad

- Bloodhound by Tamora Pierce;

And that's just what is literally sitting on my shelf right now.

MOVIES (and TV on DVD): I have a rather succinct and current list on my wall right now, and I'd like to make my way through it. Recently, I have crossed off four films from it: Happy-Go-Lucky (cute), Flashbacks of a Fool (very good and interesting - I highly recommend it), When Did You Last See Your Father? (sweet, well acted), and Elegy (sexy and thoughtful). Next up on the radar is the HBO Mini-Series John Adams. I've heard great things about it and my mom and I are really looking forward to it. I haven't had a chance to hit the theaters recently - I still want to see UP... but the next big film I'm counting down until is Johnny Depp's Public Enemies (July 1). I've already made my mom promise to be ready to see this one with me. :)

BLOG: I want to keep talking on here frequently. There are a lot of topics that I've been meaning to write about... Season Finales of some of my favorite TV shows and LeakyCon are at the forefront of this list. I'm having a bit of a hard time feeling like it's "too late" to write about these things, but I think I just need to get them down on *ahem* paper. Other than that, I'd like to keep talking about my life, quite simply, what I'm up to and what I'm thinking about. I'll probably keep reviewing movies, books, and even music. On top of this, if you don't already know, I'm writing a blog about the experience of starting college, a project which is sponsored by the CU Book Store. I'd love for you to follow along with this blog - you can find it here.

CREATIVE: Originally, I had several main ideas for how I would stay creatively busy this summer. The first was writing - aka blogging - as I just mentioned. I also would like to learn a bit about photography, especially now that I have a nice new camera which has an optional manual mode. I'd like to re-learn a bit of piano and maybe learn how to play basic guitar. On top of all this, I'd LOVE to finish a painting of Jack Sparrow that I started in freshman year. But that sounds like a lot... I'll have to see what I can actually accomplish.

OTHER: And on top of all that, I'll have some activities like Leaky - we start our reading of Order of the Phoenix on June 20 and I'm working with my friend Daniel to bring some new technological uses to the Lily and Stag Inn. I'll still be doing my Jane Austen book group - we're finishing Northanger Abbey this weekend by watching the BBC film. I'm going to try to be a bit more active socially in preparation for the fall... I hope to meet with some people who are going to CU next year (mainly people I've already "met" on Facebook) if they come to Boulder. I did mention exercise earlier - and I hope to get back into a routine. Right now, though, I can't quite get my self to just GO TO THE GYM. Again, maybe when it's sunny(?)

But right in front of my feet are a couple of exciting things... I'm going to see RENT in Denver this week with a friend from Leaky who happens to be in town. (OMG!! SQUEE!) I'm getting a brand new set of RAM and a new HD installed in my computer to boost up its speed and size. I'm getting my hair cut and straightened (EEK!) And that's all just this week.

... Well, I actually do feel in a better mood. I have a lot of time ahead of me, but I have even more activities to occupy that time. So, perhaps, if I stay the course, get a bit more focused, and let the sun shine in (even when it's cloudy), this summer will turn out just as fantastic as I imagined it would be.

So, I'll see you very soon, hopefully.

Cheers, <3

BLOG EVERY DAY APRIL, sort of.

(It's true! And I really can't resist starting blogs with a photo.)

Well, I sure haven't been blogging a lot. With only 3 posts in March, 1 tenth of the total month's days, I certainly can no longer say that I "regularly" keep a blog, as I often do, but I mean to change that. You see, I find it particularly easy to rant and ramble on here after I have watched a film of sorts - something that leaves me with a lot of thoughts and opinions. But when it comes to the chance to opine on a variety of other subjects (REAL LIFE, for example), I often don't make time to come in and record my very own two cents for view on the world wide web.

Recently, nerdfighter-associated author Maureen Johnson started a project that's floating through the blogosphere like a wildfire: Blog Every Day April (BEDA). She came to the realization (much like myself) that she had not, in fact, been a regular blogger, and she had the desire to change this. Many people are following suite, with the hopes of recording their own two cents for view on the world wide web every day of April's 30. Some brave and visual individuals are doing their own take on the project, Vlog Every Day April (VEDA).

Now, this is the kind of project that makes my fingers itch to start typing, my brain racing with sentences, and my to do list filled with homework to feel mundane and ANNOYING. But, alas, with a to do list that grows longer constantly (despite the fact that I've checked a half a dozen things off today alone) and a schedule that's filling up more and more... not to mention a handful of SCARY AP and IB tests that are looming over me, alas... I am fully aware that I cannot participate in this fun. Once again I find myself in the position of DYING to participate in something (NaNoWriMo, Hooter, Project for Awesome) but not being able to due to its timing. (Hell, if NaNoWriMo were in June, I'd have 50,000 words in a heartbeat... but in Novemember, I have finals to study for, a holiday to relax over, and I invariably get a tiny chicken in my brain at some point).

It's not that I strictly COULDN'T blog every day in April. I could. I could promise to try, and do pretty well, but I know better for myself. It's not smart to create another thing I feel like I HAVE to do at this point in time. So, I'm starting my own variation... BALA. Aka, Blog A Lot April. I want to Blog A Lot in April. I'm not going to even try to make a promise to do it every day, but since I really appreciate the general ENERGY, EFFORT, and IDEA behind BEDA, I want to participate in some way. Blogging is like keeping a public journal. It's a nice way to relax, unwind, take a break from studying, and get rid of Brain Crack (Ideas that stick in your brain but that you never act on). So, this is my announcement - not promise, commitment, or goal, but announcement - that I HOPE to blog a lot this month.

We'll see how it goes.