So, I just had a rather frustrating half hour. This summer, one of those big overarching mega-things I've been wanting to do is learn guitar. My Uncle gave me a guitar (I know, right?) several years back and I basically never picked it up. This was not from non-interest - I think guitars are beautiful instruments and I envy people who can play well - I just never did it, basically. Learning a new instrument is complicated - so I've found out. A few weeks ago now, I had what a friend of mine would call a C2J (Come-to-Jesus) chat with my mom. I was distraught at the feeling that summer was ending soon (even sooner now, as I write this) and that I hadn't done any of those big overarching mega-things I had been saying I wanted to do. So, she encouraged me, even if I only had a few weeks left, to just do my best to do them. Guitar was high on this list.So I took out my guitar, wrote it on my to do list, opened up GarageBand (a nifty Apple program that has a lesson section), found a pick, tuned the sucker, and started trying to play an E chord. FAIL. My fingers were numb for a week and all I managed were a few dissident noises. But, even though I didn't practice again for a few days, I still had hope and interest. I was doing this now - I was going to magically teach myself guitar in the last few weeks of summer. I came back from the mountains this weekend, I practiced E chord again, started messing with G and C and... nothing. The cords were still a buzzing, thumping, music-less mess while the weird guy from the GarageBand lessons seemed to act like it was a piece of cake. (Side-note, where does that expression come from? It doesn't make a lot of sense). My fingers still hurt excruciatingly after a few seconds of holding a chord down... yada yada. So, here's today, attempting to have at it again, and, I just can't do it. I know you have to build up calluses and practice and ALL THAT, but that seems to be advise for when you can touch the damn strings for more than a few seconds without causing permanent nerve damage! I just don't get how to BEGIN!
So, in a fit of frustration at the GUITAR itself, I sat down to play piano. For many years (now long ago), I took piano lessons, learned songs, had little practice schedules (which I rarely followed), etc... But it fell by the wayside in the latter years of high school. What I've realized recently is that I really love the piano - I love playing it (especially since I tend to only play MY kind of music - sondtracks) and I love the way it sounds. Thus, when I got out my favorite song, (which I never fully learned), "My Heart Will Go On," I guess I was hoping to be cheered up in some sort of "SEE, YOU CAN STILL MAKE BEATUFIUL MUSIC" kind of way. Not so much. I can barely even read music anymore! I barely remember where the basic C octaves that you look for, what the song is supposed to sound like, and a few parts that I practiced ridiculous numbers of times. I'm sure if I picked up any of the other songs I had actually mastered, my fate would be just as grim. I can't play the piano anymore! And, more importantly, I want to be able to!
I'm in a great situation. I have two instruments I want to learn and fail at, and 3 real days left of summer (HOLY GOD!!!) I realize this is a rather spastic blog post but, I guess I'm sending this out into the universe to ask for... help? Advice? I'm leaving home (and my piano) behind, and I'll shortly be living in close quarters where guitar practice would probably be unwelcome... But despite all that, I don't quite want to give this up for a lost cause until next summer. Lessons, especially for guitar, sound like an obvious option, but I have a nagging doubt that I won't be able to fix it. What do I do?! I could mess around with reading music to get some piano skills back and maybe try to get in some time in music rooms (if the music school has open ones)... But, GAH, I just feel stuck between my desire to get a bit of music in my life and my apparent inability to do so.
Yeah, right, that's it from me for now. Cheers.
