I'm watching you watching me

I'm here today on a bit of a different topic. This is part of my larger goal of blogging more often and discussing a wider variety of subjects. This time, I'd like to tell you about Taking Leave, a new CD from DFTBA Records.

I'm going to admit I'm writing this review with a goal in mind - one of the CD's creators is giving out an EP of alternate versions of the tracks in exchange for a text or video review, but I'm also going to enjoy the challenge about writing about music, something I haven't done before.

Taking Leave is the result of a collaboration between Alan Lastufka and Tom Milson, two individuals who are, for lack of a better word, "webelebrities." Both are well known for highly popular YouTube channels and important ties to the generally awesome online communities. Tom is someone who I haven't followed for very long, but who has a CD of his own that I enjoy (entitled "Awkward Ballads for the Easily Amused"). Alan is a bit of an incredible shadow, one of the founders of DFTBA records, and a creative master who not only creates his own videos, but has a published book on being successful on YouTube. Incredibly, the CD was created without Alan and Tom ever meeting in person. (The miracle of the internet nowadays, right?) As I understand it, Alan was responsible for the lyrics and production of the CD, while Tom provided vocals and mixed the music.

In all, I bought the CD not knowing what I was getting into other than an interesting creative work by two artists that I admire, that deserved some of my support. The CD is short, with 6 tracks wrapping up in just over 15 minutes, but when you really sit and listen to the songs, they take you somewhere. Each track is different, in mood, sound, story, and even vocal style (Kristina Horner joins in for the 4th track). It's easy to listen to while working, yet it can also hold your attention. It's somber and beautiful, yet still carries the trait that I associate with nerdfighters, and the online world in general: ingenuity. Taking Leave stands out as not just a CD but a work of art.

Like all great works of art, I think Taking Leave is subject to your own interpretation. This is summarized by the artwork on the CD cover. What do you see in the red trees and turquoise hills? In the box and forlorn arm? In the fallen flower petals? Is it a happy image? Do you see heartbreak? This is probably different for each individual. Meanwhile, the tracks themselves are clearly composed of two separate components: lyrics and music. True, these pieces come together easily, but perhaps because there were two creators, these elements can also be separated.

The first note of "Just a Boy" jumps out at you, before the song begins. In my mind, this track tells a clear story, more so than the others, and is more wrought with emotional distress. It tells the tale of a boy fighting the nature of his father and adulthood in general, only to grow up and be reduced to the same level - to be "brought down" in the end. It's a strong and troubled voice and introduces the theme of mirrors: "I will never forget the day / looked in the mirror and was filled with grief, / when I saw my father's face staring back at me." As my dad is a therapist, this song resonates with the numerous people who attempted to outgrow their childhoods, only to be haunted by them for the rest of their days.

"The Wind" is one of my favorite tracks. It's much more upbeat than the others on the CD, and seems more hopeful than the others. I like the use of the wind as a metaphor for life and love. Clearly in life, we all "want to fly," but how many times have we found the "winds of change" ended up directing us, "[taking] us by surprise"? The emotions of this song are sweet, yet still bearing the strong pull of reality.

I first heard "Can't" from the music video Alan posted on his channel, so I can't help but associate it with the images in that video. This is one of the best songs I've heard about heartbreak. "His edited heart was her favorite work of art" is a poetic line that I continue to ponder. I think it is because we're overly exposed the stereotype of the macho man with fear of commitment, ending a relationship, that it's refreshing to hear the story of a sad boy tied up in the "relationship games" of the girl who rules this song.

"The Mirror Song" is definitely my favorite on the CD. Tom and Kristina's voices together are stunningly beautiful, and the line "I'm watching you watching me" has been in my head for days. There are just so many images in this song that resonate with me, so many emotions that tug my heartstrings. The sweet piano is simple. The song's key line, "I'd forgotten how happy we looked," fits with the story of the song, within a relationship, but it also speaks to a key philosophy I'm attempting to follow in life: never forget happiness, continue to look for it around you.

I'm curious as to why "The Sparks Fly Upward" was include on the CD. It's a beautiful track - a solemnly spoken set of lines from the bible (I think), read by John Green and accompanied by (unless I'm mistaken) organ music. Don't get me wrong, it's a beautiful passage, one worth re-reading (or listening to) and pondering. It's classic John Green - I can almost hear him talking about it on an afternoon Ustream... But I definitely wonder what significance it holds to Alan, Tom, or to their idea for this CD.

What I do like about that track is how it leads into the final song, "Forgiven." It's as if the declaration that "man is born for trouble, as the sparks fly upward" is the revelation that leads to the image-heavy and religiously significant track. It allows it to exist, and the tracks, musically, flow together nicely. This is one of my favorite songs in terms of Tom's singing. The long words at the end of each line "Haaands" "heeeart" play into his melodious voice.

In all, I'm not a music connoisseur, but this is now a permanent addition to my music collection and one I appreciate immensely.If what I've been talking to sounds interesting to you, the CD can be found here.

P.S. Alan, I hope you liked this review!

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On an unrelated note, I wanted to quickly share this link with you. Perhaps you've recently read a highly exciting novel entitled Hunger Games (by Suzanne Collins) and are dying for the sequel Catching Fire, which is not released until September. The link above leads to a contest in which you can enter to receive an advance copy of the book.

Choosing Ralphie

Nothing is official until blogged - isn't that the mantra of the technological age? Well, let's make this nice and official, then...

I have officially chosen to attend CU this fall. It won out most directly over Ithaca College, but in the long run, also over Colorado College. I'm not going to go into the why of the decision, but I'd be happy to explain to any curious individual.

Just to get the details out of the way, I will be in the School of Arts and Sciences, majoring in Film Studies (more specifically, hoping to get a BFA in film production, with a narrative concentration) along with a minor in literature. I will be participating in the Honors Program, more specifically, the Kittredge Honors Program (the honors RAP), so I will be living in Arnett Hall. I will also be a Norlin Scholar (which won out over the President's Leadership Class). Oh, and finally, I hope to study abroad at some point.

So, there's my upcoming four years in a nutshell, but in a greater sense of the term, this all boils down to one thing for me right now: excitement. I am absolutely bounce-in-my-chair excited for college. Sure, it has something to do with finishing off the 27-odd days left of school, and maybe it also relates to the 43 mere days until Boston and all the LeakyCon madness, but in general, I am really looking forward to college.

I can't wait for the freedom. I'm feel ecstatic at the thought of not being confined to a concrete building with no windows from 7:30 AM until 2 (or 3) PM every day. I know I've been even more trapped at Fairview - particularly this year - due to my lack of un coche, but more than that, I'm sick of the regularity, the monotony, the similarity of every day. I can't wait to have a schedule I can choose, to have classes at sane hours of the day (which does not include getting up anytime before the sun is high in the sky), and to have variety - some classes M-W-F, some T-Th; some discussion based, other lecture style... all that.

I can't wait for the change! While at first I was terrified of leaving home and being on my own, the comfort of staying in the Boulder has allowed me to feel intrigued at the thought of dorm life, of managing a budget, of managing my own meals and schedule. I'm looking forward to the change of pace, to the opportunity to grow, to feel like a grown-up, to be living my own life (in that cheesy Teen chick flick film kind of way).

This is definitely nerdy (hooh-hah... Nerdfighters!) but I can't wait for the classes. I'm so excited to leave the days of "World History in two semesters" behind, and enter the realm of "Society and Culture Under the Roman Empire" and "Good and Evil in Film." On this note, of course, I can't wait to explore my major, the subjects that really interest me, and to be able to choose my classes in more detail. CU's class catalog reads like a phone book, so I'm sure I'll have more classes than I can ever partake in to chose from.

So, this is reading like one of those teenage-girl-discovers-self-and-prepares-to-enter-real-world novels... but as I've been shopping (and re-shopping) for CU sweatshirts, selecting a date for orientation, taking placement tests... and seeing this all take shape, I finally understand why everyone would always say they were looking forward to college. This may be the late realization of a house-bound only child, but this is starting to look like more than a scary experience to deal with; and instead, a bountiful adventure ready to be undertaken.

I'm sure when I'm knee-deep in textbooks for my first round of finals, hearing these words parroted back will make me feel stupid, but as I head toward a MAJOR new chapter of my life, I have to take a moment to say... wow. I've come so far from the days of dreading Outdoor Ed and lounging on couches at Horizons. I've moved past the shock of 2,000 people in one high school. I'm leapt beyond the fear of leaving home, of being on my own, of not knowing what the future would bring when I stood on the stage at graduation (or at least, did so metaphorically).

So, maybe you've enjoyed this rambling and sporatic bolding, and maybe this wasn't a coherent or purposeful blog or review (remind me to tell you about Life of Pi!), but consider this a journal entry, a time stamp, a piece of a time capsule: I'm roughly 40 days and one SUPER summer away from something big...

And I couldn't be happier or more excited about it.

Now, bring me that horizon. :)
... Oh, and some scholarship money would be nice too.

73 ... And Definitely Counting

Well, for once, I don't have a specific movie to review, TV show to rant about, or actor to applaud. That's not to say I couldn't spend a blog discussing Grey's Anatomy, which I haven't talked about, or Crusoe and Legend of the Seeker, which I've recently really begun enjoying, or the lack of Life and Heroes, or the amount of Private Practice I have to watch, or even more time about 24 or Lost... that's just not what I'm feeling up to today. Although, now that I see that list, I should probably get on that. Maybe in the coming week.

And, while I could talk about going to the gym and Fitting It In, the Oscars, the snow (and the approximate 0.0% chance of us getting a Snow Day even if there's a freaking blizzard), the books I want to read, the books I'm reading, or any of a myriad of things, instead, I'm going to talk about 73 particular, intriguing, and increasingly painful days.

That's the magic number. I went through the school calendar and, as of right now, I have only 73 days left of high school. Forever. And Ever. So, yeah, for once, I'm going to blog about real life.

For a while, that elusive May 23rd Graduation Date was scary. It was like I was cruising along comfortably in a convertible, on a sunny day, with the top down, accustomed to high school (okay, I guess it wouldn't be a convertible on a sunny day... more like driving on a rainy day). It wasn't the best, but it was familiar, and then all of a sudden, I was hurtling toward the brick wall of real life, of college, of a possibly $40,000 education, of living on my own... and that was scary.

But now? Not so much. Now that I've been accepted to my schools and am able to see how this is going to happen, it's more like I can see that the road is going to change direction, but I know that it's going to change direction, and I'm okay with the change.

Still, those 73 days are staring me in the face. Sure, they're broken up by Mondays of no school, of CSAP days (haha!), and spring break, and April break... but that still seems like a long time. Particularly if I have this much work. Don't teachers know that math worksheets are usually annoying, but when they're grouped with the 73 days, standing in your way of freedom, they're excruciating? Don't teachers know that wasting your time in class is just plain cruel?

Now, everyone's going to say, oh, don't worry, it's just senioritis. And I know it is... heck, I knew it was coming, but that doesn't change the fact that it's here, it's real, and it's making school kind of annoying.

However, those 73 days, I can deal with them. They're not only counting down to a summer of freedom - of absolutely no summer reading (hopefully), and of hours of lounging, reading, movies... Ahh, bliss. Nope, they're also counting down to LeakyCon, something that is shaping up to possibly be one of the best experiences of my life to date.

So, if 73 days is the price I have to pay for that, well, maybe I can manage. Okay, now, back to homework!

Defiance: A Film of Contrasts

Yesterday afternoon, I had the pleasure of seeing a truly great film. Defiance was one of those movies you come across that has everything. It's based on a true story, deals with a tough subject, and tells the timeless tale of fighting all odds. It had emotions, heroism, and the harsh reality of truth and death. It's also one of those films that I knew I was going to like, I sat there watching it thinking "I really like this film," and I walk out of the theater thinking "Wow, that was a really great film." It's simply the kind of story that draws me in; and they would have really had to have done a horrible job of it to disappoint me.

Defiance tells the story of the Bielski brothers who lived in Belorussia during WW2. (Yes, another Nazi movie. What can I say, they're good - albeit hard to watch - films). After their family is murdered, the brothers (Tuvia, Zus, Asael, and Aron, by decreasing age) go to the forest that they know quite well to hide. Other persecuted Jews follow them, and they begin building what is essentially a colony, living and hiding in the forests. Tuvia becomes the leader, as Zus joins another group of Russian fighters, and they continue to move and survive. They defy odds, make it through winter and sickness, fight off the Germans, find love, disagree, join together, but most importantly, simply survive. By the end of the film, we are told they ultimately saved 1200 people, and that upwards of tens of thousands of individuals owe their lives to the brothers today.

As an action, defiance is not easy. It takes courage and resolve; you must fight the odds and fight to stay strong. As a film, Defiance was not easy to watch. It depicted the harsh truths of the Holocaust; the brutality of it all. It begins with stock footage of a village of Jews being raided by the SS policemen and soliders. Children are ripped screaming from their parents arms, and men are shot right and left for sport or trying to escape. But this is not R-rated brutality for the sake of it - it shows what it was like. As in any WW2-related film I've seen (the first I was was It's a Beautiful Life; the most recent was The Reader), I'm left questioning HOW could this have ever happened in our world.

So as a story, Defiance was truly remarkable. As the trailer says, it's a "story that's never been told," which surprises me, as it's a wonderful tale to tell. From that alone, the film had a strong foundation. I also liked the acting. Daniel Craig, of course, can do no wrong in my eyes. When I said I enjoyed Defiance yesterday, a friend mentioned to me that it was hard to imagine Bond as anything other than Bond, but that was the last thing from my mind. Sans the tuxedo and the I'm-better-than-everyone look, and with the ruggedness of war-time, grunginess of living in the forest, and a harsh Russian accent... I promise you, James Bond is nowhere to be scene. The film's other primary actors: Liev Schrieber, Jamie Bell, Alexa Davalos, etc were also worth of their roles. Each brought depth and energy to their characters.

From an analytical film perspective, I also found a lot to look at in this film. My experience with the director, Edward Zwick, lies in a similarly difficult film, Blood Diamond, which depicts the terrible atrocities occuring in Africa over the Diamond Trade. Zwick seems to have a real talent for taking a real-life tragedy, one that is hard to watch, yet riveting, and spinning a masterful web of emotions and strong characters.

But I was most struck by the use of contrasts in the film, and I found these contrasts everywhere. They were in the dialogue, as when Tuvia gives a rousing speech to the survivors in the forest, explaining that "If we must die trying to live, at least we will die as human beings." (paraphrased). Or when Lilka attempts to get him to allow a baby in the camp, pointing out the urgency of bringing life into the world when there is so much death. They were in the plot, as when the brothers go on a rampage of revenge shortly after their family was killed, threatening to become much like the Nazi's they were fighting. They were in the editing, the filmmaking, as when Asael's wedding was juxtaposed over Zus' first main military engagement after joining with the Russian fighters. The riveting horror and beauty of the wedding celebrations, then the fighting and shooting, then the wedding, back and forth, was powerful. They were even in the scenery, as the green of the forest was lost to the winter white, then melted through the yellow sunlight.

Defiance was a powerful film. One that I'd highly recommend.

Here we go...

Well, I did it. I clicked "sign up here"; I filled out a form; I hit submit. 

I now have a blog.

Yes, woot! I stared at my computer for an hour trying to decide on a name - it's like naming a child... no small feat... and finally came up with something.

My life revolves around movies - anyone who knows me can probably tell you that. I always know what trailers were just released, what the box office is doing, the names of current celebrities, DVDs that are being released - all that. And I watch 'em... Lots of them. 

I hope to go into that business, but for now, I can safely say it's part of my life, and that probably won't change. 

So, here we go... Here's my blog, Cinematic Living - a small look into a high-schooler's life and into a life led by that insane world of Hollywood. Please enjoy!