'The End' of LOST

 

Six years. Growing from age 12 to age 18. The last year of middle school, all of high school, and the start of college. 2004 to 2010. The complete journey of LOST, from beginning to end.

LOST has been called many things: baffling, emotional, mysterious, a game-changer for the television industry, intelligent, frustrating, magnificent, epic. Last night, the show ended with the powerful two and a half hour finale entitled, simply. "The End."

Right now, I'm sitting here, with Michael Giacchino's incredible soundtrack playing, trying to find the words to voice some of my many thoughts about the end of the show and the finale episode itself. I'm doing so before talking to any other fans, other than my family; before reading theories and opinions; before discussing it, or even giving it much space. These thoughts are raw and, to give them justice, will have *spoilers* -- but anyone who cares will have seen the episode by now anyway. 

Before I dig in, you should know what kind of LOST fan I am. I don't read 40 blogs and listen to 10 podcasts after each episode. I don't read every book that is hidden in the show, or have dozens of theories that I am 100% positive will come true. I do watch every episode, obviously, many of them multiple times. I spend time thinking about the show. I regularly read (and gain most of my insight) from who I consider the LOST guru, Entertainment Weekly columnist "Doc" Jeff Jensen (and his partner from Totally Lost, Dan Snierson). I consider Doc Jensen's theories, am blown away by his research, and bow down to his knowledge of the show. I can't wait to read his recap of the finale. 

But mostly, I am [or, after last night, I suppose I should say was, *sniff*] along for the journey.

I have experienced something very much like last night before, when the seventh Harry Potter book came out. There's a feeling of excitement mixed with dread when you face the final chapter of a magnificent story: excitement at seeing it all come together, at learning the ending; and dread at saying goodbye to a world and set of characters that you love. There's a morning-after feel of "now what?" -- a feeling of not being able to put that Deathly Hallows book on your bookshelf; at not being able to delete LOST from your DVR queue, because it means admitting that it's over.

I'll be interested to see how LOST "ages." How will it be remembered? Will future generations watch it? Much like Harry Potter, I get the sense that watching it, with it finished, won't be the same as watching it over the past six years. Half the fun was how it kept us guessing and discussing, reaching for Wikipedia and online forums as we try to guess what will happen next. Of course, unlike Harry Potter, LOST has many more loose threads. There's more to discuss and guess at. But it won't be the same without the weekly new material. I know that someday (probably soon), I'll want to sit down and re-watch the show from its beginning, considering it from different angles now that the ending is out in the world. But, despite a re-watch marathon, it's over. 

Many people can tell you that LOST was special, maybe even unique. They'll list the ways it changed television. They'll marvel at the way it wasn't "dumbed-down for its audience, but instead, it reached out to the "nerd herd" and challenged us to discuss philosophy, history, literature... to ask about the significance of the Watership Down book Sawyer was reading, or question the meaning behind a character named after the philosopher John Locke. They'll tell you that it was a heavily serialized show (try just watching one episode if you've never seen it and you'll be lost within minutes), in a time of easy to follow shows like CSI. They'll tell you that setting an end date for a popular show had never been done (side-note: I seriously hope networks learn from this, and both stop canceling good shows too early, or running once-good shows into the ground).

I'm one of these people. Being part of the LOST phenomenon is to know something that broke precedents, that hadn't been done, and that may not be done ever again. 

Now I have that out of the way, let me just say something general about the finale episode: What an emotional two and a half hours!! I cry easily when I'm invested in a show and its characters, and the finale had me tearing up almost constantly. Both the second-to-last scene, with everyone reunited in the church, and the plot-device of the characters "remembering" their past, flashing around past seasons of the show, and all the joyful, tearful hugging and kissing of loved ones... instant tearjerker for me. More than that, though, I thought it was a simply brilliant way of ending the show, of paying homage to all the events and characters of the past, of saying goodbye.

I just sat down to watch the last 10 minutes of the finale again, so that's what I want to talk about next: the end of The End. I'm not sure where I expected the show to go in its last few minutes, but this wasn't it. As I sat in tears last night, watching Jack return to the bamboo forest that started it all, seeing the show in the tree, Vincent, and finally seeing Jack's eye close in direct reversal of the opening shot, there was one thought in my blown-away mind: Wow. I knew the show was built in a pattern where seasons 1 and 6 mirrored each other, 2/5, 3/4, but I just didn't see such a beautiful final scene coming. Bravo.

Going back before the absolute end, there are the scenes what I still must call the "Sideways" reality, in the church, that struck me as incredibly significant. I love the way that LOST has turned into a spiritual show that is not religious (there's a big difference between those two ideas). The setting of that key final scene, with crosses next to menorahs, and Virgin Mary's on the shelf with the Buddha -- and especially the stained glass window with all the major religions represented, lighting up the whole room -- was somehow just so beautiful to me. I am a firm believer that creative individuals have the opportunity to change the world, and I love that Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse took this time to show that all religions have at their core a basic faith. LOST has long been known for breaking racial boundaries with its international casting, and I think it's great that the writers took it one step further with this inclusive setting.

As for the content of the final scene, I'm still turning the conversation between Jack and Christian over in my mind. I like the idea that these characters were reunited in death -- no matter when they died -- because it brings the show back to its relationship-driven roots. Yes, there are polar bears and smoke monsters, but this show comes down to the people, and this ending reflected that completely.

I could go on and on, but instead, let me finish (for now) by saying, I don't know how I wanted LOST to end, so I can't hold up last night's episode and say "yes, that's what I wanted to see." I don't know how others wanted it to end, or if the fanbase is happy with last night's episode -- I'll be setting out soon into the depths of the internet to find out. The ending is what it is. It's out there in the world, Darlton are on radio silence, that's it, it's done.

I'm happy with the ending. I'm still pondering its significance, but I don't feel disappointed or that I would have had it another way. In the words of the show itself: Whatever happened, happened.

Namaste.

Percy Jackson and the Olympians

I don't usually do book reviews, but when I power through a series of five books in seven days, we're talking about a particularly review-worthy group of books.

So, I'm here now to talk about the Percy Jackson and the Olympians series by Rick Riordan. Made up of The Lightning Thief, The Sea of Monsters, The Battle of the Labyrinth, The Titan's Curse, and The Last Olympian... and soon to be a major motion picture, this is an adventure story after my heart. You see, I've always had a thing for Greek Mythology. I had this little set of books from one of those Scholastic Book Orders from Elementary School that I read a bazillion times. I drank the stories right up, I reveled in the legends of the Olympian gods, the myths of Pandora, Narcissus, and Hercules... there was just *something* that drew me to these tales.

Of course, when I heard there was a series of books that had a lot of the same elements that made us fall in love with Harry Potter -- and had to do with Greek mythology -- I was hooked before I even read the first word. And the stories didn't disappoint at all once I finally got around to pulling them off the shelf. Sure, they're easy reads made for younger children (in fact, the 9-year-old I was babysitting a few weeks ago was reading The Lightning Thief) -- but that just made them all the more exciting. When you can really power through a book -- I read just about all of the 300-page books in 2 days -- you get to enjoy the pace and adventure even more than a book which bogs you down with complex writing.

Riordan is witty and playful as he mixes up the adventures of Percy Jackson, Son of Poseidon, and all the other demi-gods who go to Camp Half-Blood. He makes the existence of the Olympian Gods believable with the explanation that they follow the beacon of light that is Western Civilization. He gives Apollo attitude, Hermes personality, and mythical creatures like satyrs, cyclopses, and centaurs so much energy that they seem to leap off the page. I particularly liked the way Riodan mixed other Greek tales -- like the Odessey, the Labyrinth, and the Trojan War -- into the story of Percy and his friends. And the way he drew out the basic plot-line of Kronos returning to power didn't feel stretched, even though it is the focal point of most of the latter four books of the series.

I'm going to be writing brief reviews of the individual stories on my Goodreads account, so I'll wrap this up by saying that I really enjoyed this series. I'm looking forward to see what Chris Columbus (director of the first two Harry Potter films) does with the movie adaptation in February... and I'm pleased to hear that Riordan is writing more Percy Jackson stories, possibly due Fall 2010. Overall, reading these books over the past week has been a fun ride -- if what I've described sounds like something you might like, I encourage you to give the series a go, but don't start until you have all the books and have a bit of time to read, because you won't want to put them down! Cheers :)

NINE

This post is a few days overdue, so I'm hoping I can recreate my thoughts on the new movie NINE* which I saw last weekend...

Nine is a very interesting movie. It's directed by Rob Marshall, the genius who brought the world Chicago a few years ago. In my mind, its cast is rivaled only by the upcoming film Valentine's Day ... It stars Daniel Day-Lewis, and an astonishing assortment of female divas: Sophia Loren, Judi Dench, Penelope Cruz, Marion Cotillard, Nicole Kidman, Kate Hudson, and Stacy "Fergie" Ferguson (of the Black Eyed Peas).

The film comes from a 1980's Broadway musical, which in turn was inspired by an Italian play, which itself was based on the film 8 1/2, which is loosely autobiographical of Italian director Federico Fellini. Whew!

It's hard not to have extremely high hopes going into a film like this - just LOOK at the cast list! ... and it's even harder not to have these hopes turn into disappointments if everything about the movie isn't perfect. In all, I really enjoyed the film. It was a flashy, entertaining, and emotional musical with fabulous stars, great music, and an interesting idea. I do agree a bit with some of the more negative reviews I've read that writer's block isn't the best subject for a film. After all, watching Daniel Day-Lewis suffer for inspiration for two and a half hours isn't exactly a blast.**

That said, this film really touched me. It's ironic (and coincidental) that I had been thinking about inspiration on the day I saw Nine. The film deals exactly with the relationship between a creator and the creation... And the struggles that come from lack of inspiration.

Basically, the story is about Italian filmmaker Guido Contini (Day-Lewis), who has had many successes, but more recently, many *flops.* As he struggles to find a subject for his new film, Italia, we meet the seven women that have shaped his life: his mother (Loren), his old friend and costume designer of his films (Dench), his wife (Cotillard), his mistress (Cruz), his leading lady (Kidman), a reporter from Vogue (Hudson) and a mysterious gypsy woman from his childhood (Fergie)

One of the other "stars" of the film is the stage where the new film is meant to be filmed. The centerpiece of the otherwise chaotic sound stage is a beautiful but uncompleted set with columns - some sort of old fashioned Italian exterior... The scaffolding and ropes from the construction of the set provides wonderful monkey bars for several of Guido's songs. Furthermore, all of the songs of the film take place on this set, cutting back and forth between the real-life circumstances of the singer, and the idea that Guido is trying out various parts of his real-life for the subject of the film.

The film is, to use one of the terms I learned last semester, self-reflexive... It itself openly acknowledges its own nature as a film and deals with filmmaking as a subject. Furthermore, its former nature as a stage play can easily be seen, though it has been opened up somewhat to include locations and movement (like the beautiful shots of the winding roads above the ocean as Day-Lewis flees a press conference). This can be seen throughout, in the idea of the stage I already mentioned, in the opening sequence in which the seven leading ladies parade across the stage, more or less introducing themselves to the audience. It continues (slight SPOILER alert) into the end, when Guido finally finds inspiration for a film, called Nine. The film itself ends with his cry of "action!" in a bizarre onscreen-offscreen kind of parallel.

My mind would not stay quiet during the film, and I know I'm missing many of the interesting ideas that occurred to me then. Perhaps when I see it again someday they'll come back to me. I really enjoyed the performances of everyone involved in the film. In fact, two of my favorite songs were not by the Oscar winning actor or actresses... but by the others. Hudson's "Cinema Italiano" and Fergie's "Be Italian" are, in my mind, the most memorable numbers of the work. That said, it was still amazing to see Cruz's flexibility, to hear Kidman's voice again (it's been too long since Moulin Rouge!), to see Dench belt a wonderfully fun number, to see Cotillard overcome awful lyrics in her first song*** to give an amazing and moving performance in her second, etc.

It seems that the critics didn't receive this film as well - EW, one of the only reviews I read gave it an appalling C! - so perhaps it won't reach Oscar-dom. It does have a shot at a Golden Globe, though, and we'll see what happens there. I and everyone I went with sincerely enjoyed the film... it's a great flashy musical with some wonderful performances. Though there are so many movies in theaters right now (gotta love the holidays) - and the ever-so-awesome AVATAR worth seeing again and again,**** I would recommend this movie overall.

Cheers :)



*I'm just going to come out and say it... What's with all the #9 movies this year? There's this, Nine, there's District 9, and there's 9. Of course they're all very different films, but is it just because it's 2009? Weird!
**Although he sure does get to show off the veins in his head and his amazing ability to keep a grungy five o'clock shadow look for nearly two hours.
*** "My husband makes movies / To make them he lives a kind of dream/In which his actions aren't always what they seem!" -- By the way, HOW did she manage to keep tears glistening in her eyes this entire song?
****I still can't believe AVATAR grossed $1 billion worldwide in 17 days... that's just incredible. I'm really rooting for it to beat Titanic's record and for it win some major awards. I stand by my review that it's a stunning and incomparable film - everyone NEEDS to see it at least once in theaters.

I can haz inspiration?

Last night, I talked with a woman who's life story would make a GREAT movie. It would be Erin Brockovich meets Slumdog Millionaire, and it really surprised me how much the movie-ness of what she's been through came out and smacked me in the face.

I find I often struggle with fostering my creativity. Though I want to make movies, write stories, be imaginative, whatever... actual characters and plots don't pop into my head that easily. One of my goals this year is to see this as a skill that I can develop. Hopefully being in my first film production class (last semester, I was only taking critical studies film courses) will contribute to this, but it an ability that I really want to foster.

I often find that I don't know what to write about, even though the truth of the matter is, you can write about ANYTHING. I've been keeping in mind an exchange from the movie Finding Neverland:

Peter Llewelyn Davies (the young boy in the story): I still have no idea what to write.
J.M. Barrie (played by Johnny Depp): Write about anything. Write about your family, write about the talking whale!
Peter: What whale?
J.M. Barrie: The one that's trapped in your imagination and desperate to get out.

It's so easy for me to see stories in people's lives, or the possibilities for a film in a good book (Tamora Pierce movies NEED to happen, people)... but I really want to work on getting inspiration from a good story from all around me, in everyday life.

When I see things like the MoMA exhibit about Tim Burton, I am astounded by the kind of creative visions some people like Burton have. It's like they see a different world from you or I; or like they have this imagination of steel which processes everything and churns about amazing ideas.

Anyway, this is just a random little blog post to get some thoughts out there. If you're a creative person, where do YOU get inspiration from?

Sherlock Holmes

My family went to see the new Sherlock Holmes yesterday, which is a movie I was really looking forward to ever since the first trailer dropped. I can honestly say I was not disappointed... the movie is fun, interesting, and highly entertaining from start to finish.

Robert Downey Jr. makes a great Holmes (not that I have much frame of reference for the character). He's witty, smart, annoying, funny, slovenly, charming... the list goes on. He pulls off a kind of *damn-it-all* attitude that I see in his own personality and in his character Tony Stark from Iron Man. It seems to me that the characters he's choosing matches his Hollywood status as an actor who spent a great deal of time outside the circle and is now a bit wary of being welcomed back into it. I think it's wonderful and, in some ways, highly fortuitous that the trailer for his next movie that is sure to be a blockbuster smash, Iron Man 2, plays before Holmes in theaters.

Holmes is doing well in the box office, as far as I know - it set a Christmas Day record last weekend - so I'm guessing that this first film will be the start (or perhaps RE-start) to a franchise. I welcome this idea, and the opportunity to see Robert Downey's Holmes and Jude Law's Watson continue their banter on screen. On that note, Law's Watson was equally up to par and far from being the sidekick that he is in the books (I've just begun reading an illistrated version of all the Arthur Conan Doyle stories). Law easily keeps pace with Downey Jr., even outshining him at some parts of the film.

All in all, I thought the film did a good job handling the mystery genre. They gave you enough hints to know that Holmes was on the trail of something (a sniff here, a keen look there), but when all the pieces came together at the end, I don't think audience members felt stupid for not having figured out the case - as I've noticed I do after certain similar films. The story was engaging, the bad guy was sinister, and the damsel in distress was... well, a bit of a badass herself. Rachel McAdams was lovely as ever (that pink satin dress? damn).

The film's soundtrack is particularly worth commenting on, as it was superb. Done by Hans Zimmer, one of my all time favorite composers (The Dark Knight, Pirates of the Caribbean 2 and 3, Lion King, etc). The music is unusual, upbeat, exciting, unnerving, quirky, adventurous... and above all, completely fitting for the film itself.

Overall, I'd recommend the film as it's just plain fun. Back to the theaters again today to see the movie Nine. Cheers :)

AVATAR

James Cameron's AVATAR* was, in my opinion, one of the best pictures of the year, of the decade, and maybe ever. I don't find it easy to rank and compare films, or to easily say something was "my favorite"** Every film is different, and saying one is better than the other is, for me, a lot like talking about apples and oranges. However, AVATAR was stunning. It reminded me why I want to be in the film business, why I admire the craft. It sets new standards for other films in my mind. In some ways, it seems like what films might look like ten, twenty, or even thirty years from now... James Cameron just happened to make it a little earlier. This movie is the most astonishing visual experience I've ever witnessed on the silver screen. I've seen it twice and a bit of time has elapsed since both viewings, so it's possible that my opinion might change if I see it a third time, or when time passes and I see it on my computer. It's possible that the shock and awe will someday wear off and I'll look at this blog entry and think "huh?"... only time will tell. But for now, all I can say is that AVATAR blew me away.

You ARE on Pandora when you watch this film. Cameron takes you on a journey when you sit down and the lights dim. This is not a movie that is about a brilliant script, witting dialogue, powerful characters... it's a movie that's about a vision. Everything on Pandora, from the banshees to the little lemur monkeys with four arms to the seeds of Ewya looks and feels real, though completely otherworldly. I found out recently that Cameron has a history in natural science, which makes TOTAL sense to me based on the world and creatures he created.

Cameron is not a guy to go halfway. This is "King of the World," creator of the highest grossing film ever James Cameron we're talking about. The guy was brave enough to sink the frikkin Titanic on screen, after all. So, of course, writing a script that is not possible to create didn't stop him... he just went right ahead MAKING it possible. This is something that I admire to NO end. The fact that there is camera technology credited at the end of the film that is named after Cameron is just brilliant, in my mind. If more people were like this, if more people had the attitude that nothing is IMpossible, just not possible YET, well my friends, the world would be a different place.

The 3D effect in AVATAR is effortless, so different from Robert Zemeckis' A Christmas Carol or Beowulf, which are my main frames of reference for 3D feature films. The 3D in this film does not seem like that Disneyland attraction that sprays water in your face, shakes your seat, and shoots images out of the screen for maximum effect.*** When I saw A Christmas Carol, the 3D was so OBVIOUS, as if the entire time I was watching it, my brain was going "ooh, look, that's in 3D. Ooh, so is that." No, the 3D in this film is not obvious or flashy. Instead, it aims at recreating real life. The screen has a depth that you never knew was missing from traditional 2D movies. When so-and-so is standing in front of a desk, you can TELL that they're in front of it.

As for the CGI... well, what can I say. The translation from motion capture to photo-real image is stunning. Gone is that "video game" plastic-y look that plagues so many CG scenes of the past. Na'vi skin looks touchable. Motion is real, emotion is real. The only thing holding Pandora back from being real is reality itself.

Now, I have no idea how much Cameron changed the script from what he originally wrote in 1995, but the fact that the core idea of this movie has everything to do with the danger of destruction and war, the peril of an threatened world, and the importance of seeing, understanding, and valuing the NETWORKS in the world around us ... was written FOR 2009. This is a message people need to see and understand. Pandora is Earth, only there aren't clear victims like the Na'vi people. WE, humans, are the ruthless power-hungry, greedy bastards that the film makes clear "bad guys." Our only hope is to learn from Nuteri and her people, to learn to SEE and understand how everything is connected.

This is getting long, and is only likely to develop into novel-esque size if I don't stop soon. See AVATAR, if you haven't. See it again, if you have. I will be rooting for it at the Golden Globes and Oscars, I will be watching it many more times, I'm sure. This is a monumental film, and I only hope that someday, I can have a small part in making something like it.

Cheers.



*Somehow the title just HAS to be written in caps. It's not avatar or Avatar... it's AVATAR, complete with booming loud drum noises, ala the end of the film, or a movie-trailer voice and flashy neon letters.
**Except Pirates of the Caribbean, which remains my FAVORITE film, the movie I saw 9 times in theaters, the movie that I have honored with posters all over my room, the movie which will always hold a special place in my heart. -- I know, I'm weird.
***Please tell me you know what I'm talking about here.

Obleck

Time is like obleck, I have decided.

"What is obleck?" you're probably asking... Besides being a silly word, obleck is that crazy stuff that hopefully everyone experienced in their childhood. Obleck is what results from mixing the right amounts of cornstarch and water. Obleck is fabulous. It runs and drips through your fingers like a liquid, but squeeze your hand together, and it somehow feels solid.

How this works continues to boggle my mind. (No, please don't explain. I'm not a science person; I prefer to see it purely as MAGIC.). But today when I was thinking about the end of the year and the end of the decade (!!!), I came to see that obleck makes a fabulous metaphor for time.

When you're in the middle of everything, time usually just slips by. A few minutes, an hour, a day, a week, even a month go by fairly quickly. It doesn't take that much effort for time to pass - it's just like you're holding your hand open, and the obleck is slipping through your fingers.

But as soon as you make your hand into a fist, as soon as it's December 31st, and everyone is talking about where they were in January 2009 or even January 2000, time feels solid and real. It's mind boggling to consider everything that happened in a year, and almost beyond comprehension (for me, at least) to talk about the last ten years put together.

So there's your metahporical dose for the day, thank you, goodbye.

On a more serious note, I am doing a lot of reflecting and planning for 2010. Though it sometimes seems silly to tie up all our homes and dreams for change with a date and a holiday, 2010 really does seem like a chance for a fresh start. I spent a great deal of time this morning writing out a great many personal goals I want to work on starting tomorrow (or tonight at midnight, I suppose). Somehow, writing them out feels like chiseling them in stone (though of ocourse with much less effort, thanks to computers) - it makes the idea of having "resolutions" more real.

I'm not going to get into all the ways I want to be a better person - those are things for me and me alone to comtemplate and work on for now. The one goal I do want to share has to do with the very website you are currently reading this from. I want to blog more. I know, I know... If I had a nickel for every time...

But I really do want to make an effort to update this site more frequently. I wrote in my resolutions list that my quantitative goal is "at least three times a week with a goal of five" - but that goal is modifiable. I also want to write more for my official CU Blog more next year, and there might just be a limit to what I can do.

Overall, I have a lot of thoughts and I want to share more of them in written form on here. I'm going to work on writing more casually, not as if I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY in big captial NEON letters, but just as if I have something to share, feel free to read it. I want to return to reviewing more movies, particularly the ones I watch for class, so I can solidify my thoughts about them and practice analysizing and describing films.

That said, I will soon be following this up with other entries. I want to review Avatar (OMG) and some of the other movies I've seen recently. I want to talk about the Oscars. I want to dig into some of the books I've been reading lately.

One last thought before I hit the big scary orange "PUBLISH" button... Last year, I wrote some of my resolutions in a blog post here, and I think for the most part, I can put check marks by them (with the exception of "make films," I suppose). The one resolution I don't see on that list but that was a goal for me was to read 52 books this year. I failed at this goal. At last count, I have read 44 (although that list does include the GARGANTUAN Mists of Avalon which should probably count as more than one. Anyway, I want to read MORE than 52 books next year. Nice quantitative goal. Let's make it happen.

That's it from me for now, folks. Hope you have lovely New Year celebrations when the clock stikes midnight - and more importantly, I hope you have a lovely NEW YEAR. May 2010 be awesome for us all. Cheers!

(Feel free to share your thoughts on the passing of time, this decade, this year, and new year's resolutions, if you are so-inclined).

Plugged In

Last night, my family sat down to watch the Paul McCartney concert 1-hour special that had aired on Thanksgiving. We followed this up with the 1-hour Beyonce special that had also aired on Thursday night. Both of these got me thinking about cultural phenomenons and what it is that I find so interesting about following pop culture.

Paul McCartney was great, as always. At several points between songs, bits of an interview with him are cut in... and Paul remarks on all the speculation that he will someday retire. He says with a grin on his face, "What am I going to do? Sit at home and watch the telly?" (I love British-speak :P) "That's fine for about five minutes."

In presenting the show, the editors also cut in some original footage of the Beatles playing the same stadium when they first came to New York. That, along with the jubilant faces of the audience members, singing or dancing along, reinforced the amazing strength and force of the mania that I believe still surrounds the Beatles.

It was great to hear Paul play hits like "Hey Jude" and "Yesterday," but equally fun to see the stunning pyrotechnic-laden performance of "Live and Let Die." I was disappointed that Paul didn't do any of his more recent hits like "Nod Your Head" and "Dance Tonight" -- but perhaps he did and they just didn't include them in the one-hour version of the show.

Paul remarks at one point that he loves that parents and kids and even grandparents can all enjoy his music equally. While I have long appreciated the Beatles hits (who hasn't?) I'm sure I don't hear them with the same rush of emotions and nostalgia as people like my parents who were growing up in the midst of their popularity. My mom was talking about what it was like to follow the Beatles, watching them release hits, break up, get back together, not quite knowing where the group was headed or what would happen next.

I think what really struck me was that the night before, Thanksgiving, I got into a rather heated debate with an old family friend about what made/makes Harry Potter the phenomenon it is. I was trying to explain what it was like growing up alongside the release of the books, not knowing when the next book would be released, who was going to die, how the story was going to end. It occurred to all of my family while watching gracious and talented Paul perform that the Beatles was a very similar phenomenon.

Transitioning from Paul to Beyonce was rather odd, but it was great to get a glimpse of what looks like her very energetic and intimate performance from Las Vegas. I admire Beyonce greatly -- she's gorgeous, sexy, talented... She can sing, dance, and is an inspiration to women with her messages of independence and confidence. There's something lovely and almost hypnotic about watching someone so clearly in their prime, loving what they do every minute.

It really hit me when she performed Single Ladies (mainly because she pointed it out) that the Single Ladies video and dance was a kind of mini-phenomenon of 2009. I remember the first time I saw this video and what an impact it made on me. It's cool to think that it was a major part of the pop culture of this year and that I was somehow a part of it -- that I experienced it.

What I realized through all these musings was that I find immense pleasure from the feeling of being "plugged in" to the larger world, particularly when it involves pop culture phenomena. There's something really satisfying for me of understanding and being part of an experience -- whether it's Michael Jackson's death on Twitter, the VMAs and Kanye bashing, or any of the other big events of this year. Every now and then, I question why I care so much, if it's frivolous, how it really impacts my life... But I think what attracts me to experiencing pop culture phenomenons is the feeling of connection and belonging, the knowledge that thousands of other people love the Single Ladies video and have a memory of watching it the same time. It's the same feeling I associate with Harry Potter book releases, and that I'm sure my parents' generation links to the Beatles albums.

So, we're heading into the last month of 2009... the last month of the first decade of the 2000's. Soon we'll have a new year, a new decade, and new phenomenons to experience. I can't wait!

Gobble Gobble

Love to eat turkey... love to eat turrrkeeey
Love to eat turkey, cause it's good
Turkey for me, turkey for you
Let's eat turkey in a big brown shoe!
~Adam Sandler's Thanksgiving song, Weekend Update SNL

Well, it's that day again... the day when we celebrate pilgrims having a dinner party with the indians, where we're supposed to be spend the day grateful for all that the universe has blessed us with... and where we're supposed to gorge ourselves on the bird that Ben Franklin once wanted as the national animal, along with three different kinds of pie.

Don't get me wrong... I love Thanksgiving. It's a great excuse to not only have the day but the week off from school, to spend time with friends and family, to eat delicious food, and to reflect and respect the life you're living. But really, you gotta love the irony of this holiday.

People express their appreciation of this holiday in different ways...
Adam Sandler wrote a song about it
Friends always took it as an excuse to be extra funny.
Hank Green told us 50 things he appreciates in his daily life.
President Obama took it as opportunity to show off his adorable sense of humor.

I always associate it with those construction paper turkeys you would make in elementary school by tracing your hand and decorating it with a little face and drawing in feathers. This year, my family is hosting a large dinner with family and friends - 10 or 11 people and I expect deliciousness and over-eating to be had by all.

I got myself in a bit of a funk today (meaning slightly bad mood but you can't pin your finger on what you feel bad about). It's mostly school related... I'm in the final stretch (2 weeks, 4 classes, 7 major assignments left) and it's hard to be on break and not be fully able to relax. I did see a great, hilarious film with George Clooney and Ewan McGregor -- <3 -- The Men Who Stare At Goats, but I'm not quite in a particularly *thankful* mood tonight. I am in a very talkative, bloggy mode tonight, hence the rambling.

I've said this a bazillion times without it coming to fruition, but I want to blog more. I like how it is similar to keeping a journal, but that it feels more purposeful since you have somewhat of an audience. I think it's important to formalize my thoughts into writing, to take the time to figure out what you're thinking and how you're processing what's been going on in your life. I'm not going to put a goal on it now, but I hope to be on here more.

If you're celebrating Thanksgiving tomorrow, I hope you have a lovely holiday. If you're not (probably because you're not American), take it as an excuse to spend a few minutes thinking of what you're grateful... cause it can't hurt, right?

Cheers :)

New this week in Newsweek

This past weekend I decided that I wanted to read the current (November 16) copy of Newsweek cover to cover. This may sound insignificant, unimportant, or uninteresting, but it's something that not only do I never do... I'm not sure I've ever done it at all. In the past, I've read some of the articles, flipped through the stories while eating breakfast, or simply opened it straight to the political cartoon page... but I'm not sure I've ever read every word of every story.

My family has had a subscription to Newsweek for quite some time now -- before that it was Time, or maybe it was both... but they've been piling up in our magazine basket for several years now. I don't know exactly why I'm never drawn to them -- it's partly an issue of time, I think. I also currently get Entertainment Weekly, People, Glamour, Allure, and Real Simple [before you protest, they were all free and I only have them for a limited amount of time. Oh, and I always give them to friends before recycling them] and I barely have time to read those as it is. On top of that, there's reading for school, for my bookclub(s), for fun... Yeah, I just basically never make it to reading Newsweek.

But I had a few quiet minutes on Friday, and it was just sitting there staring at me, so I started flipping through it, then I started reading it, and then I started reading all of it. I actually haven't finished at the time I'm sitting here writing this, but I certainly plan to read the rest. I can't say if this is indicative of a new pattern - if I'm going to be able to read every word of all the Newsweeks from now on, but I certainly have gained a new appreciation of the magazine as a whole, and a new knowledge of how interesting it can be to really read in depth.

The magazine's cover story is about lessons we can learn from Vietnam - and how they can be applied to Afghanistan. The story is really quite interesting, though I don't see what made it timely enough to make it the cover story; but I particularly enjoyed John Kerry's subarticle. He had a very striking conclusion that I think is worth sharing: "One of the architects of the Vietnam War, Robert McNamara, confessed decades later that he knew victory was no longer possible well before the American death toll had reached half its eventual total. He offers a horrific lesson that the time to voice concerns is now." It seems clear to me that America's involvement in Afghanistan is far from over, and I hope to follow its events and debates closer than I did with events in, say, Iraq. I was too unappreciative at the time of what was going on in Iraq to keep up and as such generally don't know what was/is going on there.

I have always admired John Green and other individuals who are very well versed in current events -- people who understand the innerworkings of what's making headlines well enough to explain them to others and debate them intellectually. I guess my reading Newsweek this weekend is, in part, an attempt to follow in those footsteps. Next semester I'll be taking a Modern US Policy/Diplomacy class, which I'm sure with further my understanding of the crazy world of political happenings.

The Newsweek issue had many other interesting stories - lots of chatter about the Berlin Wall Fall anniversary, about the recent elections in favor of the Republicans and what that means for the country, etc, etc. But I'm not going to go into that now... If you're interested, you can read for yourself!

If anyone out there happens to read this, I'd love to hear what YOU read in the realm of magazines, websites, RSS-feeds, newspapers, etc. How do you keep up with current events -- or do you not care at all? Let me know!

Cheers :)

More weekend, more movies

So this was just a weekend for movies, I guess... Another couple of days, another couple of pictures. This was boosted by a trip to the library - holy cow, they have a lot more DVDs than I remember! They must be adding them all the time! Anyway, since I'm really into older films right now, it's perfect. I got a collection of Buster Keaton shorts that I can't wait to watch. Anyway...

Last night, my mom and I finished Agatha Christi's Death On The Nile, which was just plain fantastic. Not sure how much I got into this last night, but it has an amazing cast, and was such a classic old-movie murder mystery flick. Hercule Poirot (with his great mustache) is hilarious, and I hope to watch Mystery on the Orient Express next weekend. Anyway, it was great to finally find out WHO DID IT and wrap it up.

I was literally sitting through a lot of the movie just thinking "this is great, this is great." It had that combination of suave British/30s charm (though it was made in the 70s) and with such a great cast and melodramatic acting and filming... it was a real treat. I really recommend it!

Next up was To Catch a Thief, today... as something we happened to see on the shelf (Grace Kelly and Cary Grant! -- and Hitchcock!) and decided to use as a reward for me finishing homework and a last bit of fun to end the weekend.

So it was basically GREAT Grace Kelly. Wow, between her white and blue dresses, there was a bit of fashion-related drooling in this picture. Cary Grant was... very much as I know him to be. Very tan, very smooth (he would be a good James Bond!), and a very good reformed jewel thief. It had some great moments, though it wasn't one of Hitchock's most suspenseful films. It did inspire me to set a little goal, though not quite sure how likely this is to happen... It'd be really cool to see all of Hitchcock's movies either before the end of the school year or before next school year starts. They seem like films I should see (even though I don't particularly want to see Psycho or The Birds).

And then there's tonight... right now.. It's Disney Movie Night again in my dorm, something I found out about last weekend and attended for the first time last week (Hercules). In a different sense of older-movie traditions, MAN old Disney is great! I don't think I'll ever grow out of these movies and hope I can raise my own kids on them some day. The current Pixar or Shrek-type films just don't even hold a candle to the music and magic of Lion King, Aladdin, and ALL the rest!

But anyway, here I am with a group of people who know the words to Lion King by heart and have been singing along the whole time and... well, life is good.

I'm particularly excited about this week, though it's really the same as every other, with long Tuesdays and Thursdays, homework, general business... Anyway, there's something that makes it special: MORE MOVIES.

Yeah, I'm really looking forward to the movies we're watching in my film classes this week, PARTICULARLY Singing in the Rain, but also Fatal Attraction (which I just feel like I should see), and Fight Club (which I KNOW I need to see, even though I haven't). Anyway, on top of that, I have the Ian McKellen production of King Lear to supplement my reading for my British Literature class, and Shakespeare in Love because I saw it on the shelf and though I'd see if I have time to see it again.

Right, so there's another post that's very simple and probably not gramatically correct or fully spell-checked, but I really do want to start blogging more often. It's a good journaling experience. Cheers! :)

What do Fred Astaire, SNL, and Dan Brown have in common?

...They've all been a part of my weekend. I'm once again going to pick up my goal of blogging more frequently by chattering about what's recently been in front of me. They are three mediums, and certainly three very different pop icons, but between last night and this morning, they've all been in front of me.

I honestly don't know that I've ever seen a Fred Astaire movie. I'm a big Gene Kelly fan, so I may have seen Astaire in a movie with Kelly, but as far as the famed Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers go, I don't know that they've ever actually crossed my path. Anyway, the recent abundance of oldie movies that I've been seeing in film classes have inspired me to keep it up on the weekends. Last week I watched Some Like It Hot, which I had heard of but certainly had to see it. I wanted to find out why it was being called the "best comedy of all time" by AFI. Anyway, this week, I grabbed Swing Time with Astaire and Rodgers off the library shelf. It was really quite sweet, in that old "swell romance" kind of 30's musical kind of way. And, man, can they dance. Once again I feel inspired to take tap lessons... Who knows, maybe I'll actually do it next summer. This week in my Intro to Film class, we are watching and discussing Singing in the Rain. I couldn't be more thrilled and I feel fairly certain it's going to make me want to see Anchors Away, another favorite, yet again. Anyway, that I know of, Swing Time didn't have any TOTALLY FAMOUS songs or dance numbers in it, although I can't say I really know what Astaire (and Rogers) are most famous for. Anyone know...? I guess there's the scene where he dances on the ceiling and walls, but are there any other pictures he did that are pegged on that "OMG how have you not seen ____" list?

Also, last night, my mom and I started watching Death on the Nile, a film based on an Agatha Christie novel and starring an amazing group of actors like Maggie Smith, Bette Davis, David Niven, Mia Farrow, Olivia Hussey, Angela Lansbury... and on and on. We haven't finished it yet, but the whole time we were watching the first half, I was just sitting there ABSOLUTELY loving every minute of it. More on that when I've seen the rest!

Anyway, after that came the wonderful weekly comedy fest that is Saturday Night Live. I was thinking back and I realized that i have seen absolutely every episode of SNL since around 2005 - the first episode I DVRd was when Catherine Zeta-Jones was hosting... yes, I still remember. So, yes, my family is a big fan of the show. We've watched actors and actresses come and go, the Weekend Update desk change hands, sat through skits with glazed eyes thinking 'this isn't funny,' and split our sides laughing. Last night was a good episode. It had a fabulously weird Samburg Digital Skit: Throwing things on the ground reminded me of the "punching people while eating" sketch that still makes me laugh. The host was Ryan Reynolds, although I can't say I saw him that much. It was great to see them using "what the....?" musical guest Lady Gaga, who, I must say, I appreciate in a new way after the episode. It also had the feel of a Season Finale, with celebrities popping up left and right. My mom and I were going "is that really Madonna?!" for about 10 minutes, and then it was Elijah Wood (who knows why), and Scarlett Johanson (no big surprise as she's married to Reynolds). The skits were funny, Seth's news was great, and I doubt I will ever forget Andy in a bubble outfit.

Oh, and Drew Barrymore and Regina Spektor next week... could it get any better? Drew is hilarious, and I absolutely LOVE Regina Spektor's voice.

So that was midnight last night - or rather, this morning. Anyway, when I woke up after a nice doze today, I decided to tackle the last 100 pages of Dan Brown's latest giant bestseller, The Lost Symbol. I feel a bit torn between the book, mainly between the fact that I have always like Brown's addictive writing (even the lesser known ones like Deception Point), that the man is simply an irresistible phenomenon of an author, that the book is about D.C. and the Masons (which I find really interesting)... and all the relentless teasing he's been getting lately. A prime example of this teasing is this article, which is really quite hilarious. However, I think I had that article's tone of voice a little too much in my head... to the point that I couldn't fully appreciate the book I had looked forward to and was enjoying. Anyway, I would give the book four stars out of five... it was interesting, but felt like it needed a little tightening up. It didn't have the urgency and pace of his other books, and got a bit too bogged down in the creepiness of the bad guy and the interesting-ness (I know that's not a word) of Robert Langdon. However, I really liked a lot of the points the book made, and found the information about Masons and Noetic Science particularly fascinating. It's always cool to learn some fun facts, like the bit about the recurrence of 13 on the US National Seal. Furthermore, there was one bit at the end (I don't think it really gives anything away, but here's a SPOILER warning just in case) that I want to remember, because it captures something very well:

Two heads are better than one... and yet two heads are not twice better, they are many, many times better. Multiple minds working in unison magnify a thought's effect... exponentially. This is the inherit power of prayer groups, healing circles, singing in unison, worshiping en masse. The idea of universal consciousness is no ethereal New Age concept. It's a hard-core scientific reality... and harnessing it has the potential to transform our world. This is the underlying discovery of Noetic Science. What's more, it's happening right now. You can feel it all around you. Technology is linking us in ways we never imagined possible: Twitter, Google, Wikipedia, and others - all blend to create a web of interconnected minds. [...] And I guarantee you, as soon as I publish my work, the Twitterati will all be sending tweets that say 'learning about Noetics,' and interest in this science will explode exponentially. (Brown, 504).

Yup, that's pretty much it. Articulate and interesting stuff. Feel free to comment on anything I've brought up. Cheers :)

Quick-fire movie review: (500) days of Summer

This review is long overdue to say the least - I saw (500) Days of Summer before I went to Canada for my cousin's wedding in mid-August... but it's the kind of film that was so good, I feel obliged to review it, even if it has been a while. Since time has elapsed, I'm going to focus on the parts of this film that have stayed with me for over a month, not only telling you why it was good, but why it was memorable.

Honestly, this is probably one of the best films of the year, which I say knowing that the "movie season" (which in my mind leads up to the Oscars in February) is only about half over. It was enjoyable, well-crafted, thoughtful, intelligent, well-acted, cinematically creative, funny, sweet... I could list adjectives for another paragraph. The premise is simple, as the poster says: "This is not a love story, This is a story about love." In other words, as per the beginning of the film itself, "This is a story of boy meets girl, but you should know up front, this is not a love story."

(500) Days of Summer takes everything you think you know about the rom com/chick flick/girly film and turns it on its head. It is from the boys perspective. Depending on how you look at it, it doesn't necessarily have a "happy" ending. It is optimistic and at the same time, completely realistic. I saw it with an extremely diverse group of people - male, female, different ages and preferences - and everyone liked it. How many times can you say that, honestly?

A few moments from the film stand out vividly in my mind, and perhaps, by describing these and the effect they had on me, I will be able to communicate this film's beauty and power. Of course, if you haven't seen it and don't want to know any of this before you do see it, feel free to stop reading any time.

Moment #1:

"She only loved two things. The first was her long dark hair. The second was how easily she could cut it off and feel nothing."

First of all, I love this writing. But even more than that, this simple line illustrates the power of characterization that these filmmakers have. A few sentences of narration, right from the beginning, of odd anecdotal information, and we know exactly who we're dealing with. Furthermore, this line shows one thing I found very unique and powerful about the film, the characterization of "the girl" - Summer. This is not a typical chick flick chick. She does not melt at the sight of her soulmate, but RUNS from commitment. Sound familiar? I'm only describing every guy to ever grace the silver screen in a romantic comedy. The role reversal was one of this film's most powerful weapons, and quite frankly, it was refreshing.

Moment #2:

Expectations versus Reality

A very important sequence in the film is when our main character is invited to Summer's house for a party after not seeing her for some time. In filming the time leading up and through the party, the camera changes to a split-screen, marked on one side "Expectations" and the other "Reality." Before our very eyes, two scenes are acted out simultaneously, the way that Tom hopes things will go with Summer (Hint: she's thrilled to see him and shows it) and the way things actually go (Not the same). Wow. I mean, I've never seen such purely psychological filmmaking. It might sound odd, but even though it's only in this one scene, the technique totally works. It grabs our attention. It shows us what we do with our own minds. Just wow.

Moment #3:

"I'm the hero of this story, I don't need to be saved!"

This line comes from one of the songs on the film's soundtrack, "Hero," by Regina Spektor (who's voice I am COMPLETELY in love with). Usually, I don't like songs that are on a film's soundtrack. I am enamored with musical scores, but unless the song is iconic (in which case it's usually overused), it just doesn't draw my attention. The (500) Days of Summer soundtrack is a completely different matter. Almost all of the songs were vaguely familiar, but not well-known. They fit my mood, my personality, and most importantly, the scene they were placed in. After downloading it, a few songs in particular have caught my fancy, most notably the two by Spektor, one by Feist (of 1234/Apple ad fame), and haunting melody by France first lady Carla Bruni. The line I quoted comes from my favorite song, and in so many ways, summarizes what this film is about. As I've already said, this movie turns Hollywood on its head. Boy meets girl, but girl and boy don't make it together. The story doesn't end at "love at first sight." Gah, I just love the lyric and everything it represents.

Moment #4:

(MAJOR SPOILER)

Autumn

A great movie needs a great ending, and boy did this one deliver. If you know the film, you know what I'm talking about, the moment where it all pays off: Autumn, a quirky, unexpected and yet *perfect* way to finish. I don't have much to say about this, but to pay homage to it. These filmmakers sure know what they're doing.

Catching up: Tour of my new home!

This blog is the first of many quick, random, and possibly not-so-timely entries in an effort to catch up on my posting and continue blogging with some regularity. I've been meaning to put up this particular post for over a week, so without any further ado, here it goes. I moved into a dormitory on Thursday August 20th, and though it is less than 20 minutes away from my home, it's where I'll be staying for my freshman year of college.

So, let the tour begin. Welcome to Boulder! This is my door (from the inside) - a weird shot, I know. Turning around 180 degrees from here, you will see our weird little hallway which, as it turns, houses our closets. (Mine is the one on the right). On the wall directly behind these closets, my roommate and I found an excellent poster of one of our favorite men, Johnny Depp.The poster is a huge - 3 foot by 5 foot, and takes up the entire last wall of our hallway. The left side of the room is my side, so here is my bulletin board (and posters) and bed. Every dorm room needs storage...And I even have a nifty little windowsill. In this shot, you can also see the lights that hang outside my window and shine straight at my face at night. Annoying. Here's my desk, including...My meager collection of books and DVDs (I left most things at home), as well as....My gadgets: computer, iPod, and iPhone. Honestly not sure how I'd live without any of these things at this point. (Oh, and woot for Snow Leopard, which my Macbook is now running).
Next, there's our food area (the fridge is mostly full of smoothies right now) - and, yes, that's another picture of Johnny Depp. We can't get enough. Our TV has its own little spot. We figured out a nifty way to hook up our laptops to the larger screen and better speakers, so we can stream stuff from Hulu and watch DVDs with ease. Finally, I was lucky enough to get a suite room with a private bath, so as you can see in the above picture (on the right), here is the door into the bathroom... (The crazy red and black towels are mine - kind of love them).
Oh, and that sliver of wood on the left side of this picture shows the door to the OTHER room, which currently has only one person, but will probably have another as of tomorrow.

So, that's it from me for now. I've got lots more to catch up on, but I'm working on taking this one entry at a time. See you soon!

Cheers, :)

Here goes nothing.

I. Have. So. Much. To. Say.

I can't even begin to tell you the number of ideas I've had for blog posts recently. I just couldn't find time. But here I am, back with a mission. I am, slowly and surely, going to get my blog caught up, and then start keeping it right. I know, I've said that before, but this time I have a plan. But I'll get to that in a moment. First, I want to say: this is going to be epically long. And it's going to have a lot of photos. Prepare yourself.

What's new with me? Let me see... I started college! I now live in a dorm! I had a birthday! I'm now 18! My cousin got married! Yes, lots has happened, and it's all BIG. Worth mentioning. I could probably make dozens of full blog posts out of each of these topics, but I'm going to cram them all together for now. Perhaps I'll return to them in the future and flesh them out a bit. But I've got to start somewhere

The sea of gold shirts at CU's convocation last week.

College is... different. The first weekend, setting up my room, and first week of classes was completely hectic. I feel like I'm beginning to find a routine, but it's definitely taking some getting used to. I'll be talking more about this at my official college blog, which can be found here: http://cubookstore.blogspot.com/ It's important to know, if you're reading this, that I didn't go very far from home at all, and I can't even begin to explain what a good decision that was. Anyway, overview: I'm doing a 15 credit semester, and I'm a film major. I'm enrolled in Intro to Film, Women in Film (Honors), Constructions of Knowledge, Advanced Writing, and British Literature (which was formerly Physics, good switch).

In my next post, you'll see a virtual tour of my dorm room, something I've been promising I'll do, so go check it out.

Music Fail

So, I just had a rather frustrating half hour. This summer, one of those big overarching mega-things I've been wanting to do is learn guitar. My Uncle gave me a guitar (I know, right?) several years back and I basically never picked it up. This was not from non-interest - I think guitars are beautiful instruments and I envy people who can play well - I just never did it, basically. Learning a new instrument is complicated - so I've found out. A few weeks ago now, I had what a friend of mine would call a C2J (Come-to-Jesus) chat with my mom. I was distraught at the feeling that summer was ending soon (even sooner now, as I write this) and that I hadn't done any of those big overarching mega-things I had been saying I wanted to do. So, she encouraged me, even if I only had a few weeks left, to just do my best to do them. Guitar was high on this list.

So I took out my guitar, wrote it on my to do list, opened up GarageBand (a nifty Apple program that has a lesson section), found a pick, tuned the sucker, and started trying to play an E chord. FAIL. My fingers were numb for a week and all I managed were a few dissident noises. But, even though I didn't practice again for a few days, I still had hope and interest. I was doing this now - I was going to magically teach myself guitar in the last few weeks of summer. I came back from the mountains this weekend, I practiced E chord again, started messing with G and C and... nothing. The cords were still a buzzing, thumping, music-less mess while the weird guy from the GarageBand lessons seemed to act like it was a piece of cake. (Side-note, where does that expression come from? It doesn't make a lot of sense). My fingers still hurt excruciatingly after a few seconds of holding a chord down... yada yada. So, here's today, attempting to have at it again, and, I just can't do it. I know you have to build up calluses and practice and ALL THAT, but that seems to be advise for when you can touch the damn strings for more than a few seconds without causing permanent nerve damage! I just don't get how to BEGIN!

So, in a fit of frustration at the GUITAR itself, I sat down to play piano. For many years (now long ago), I took piano lessons, learned songs, had little practice schedules (which I rarely followed), etc... But it fell by the wayside in the latter years of high school. What I've realized recently is that I really love the piano - I love playing it (especially since I tend to only play MY kind of music - sondtracks) and I love the way it sounds. Thus, when I got out my favorite song, (which I never fully learned), "My Heart Will Go On," I guess I was hoping to be cheered up in some sort of "SEE, YOU CAN STILL MAKE BEATUFIUL MUSIC" kind of way. Not so much. I can barely even read music anymore! I barely remember where the basic C octaves that you look for, what the song is supposed to sound like, and a few parts that I practiced ridiculous numbers of times. I'm sure if I picked up any of the other songs I had actually mastered, my fate would be just as grim. I can't play the piano anymore! And, more importantly, I want to be able to!

I'm in a great situation. I have two instruments I want to learn and fail at, and 3 real days left of summer (HOLY GOD!!!) I realize this is a rather spastic blog post but, I guess I'm sending this out into the universe to ask for... help? Advice? I'm leaving home (and my piano) behind, and I'll shortly be living in close quarters where guitar practice would probably be unwelcome... But despite all that, I don't quite want to give this up for a lost cause until next summer. Lessons, especially for guitar, sound like an obvious option, but I have a nagging doubt that I won't be able to fix it. What do I do?! I could mess around with reading music to get some piano skills back and maybe try to get in some time in music rooms (if the music school has open ones)... But, GAH, I just feel stuck between my desire to get a bit of music in my life and my apparent inability to do so.

Yeah, right, that's it from me for now. Cheers.

Of plans, matches, and bad moods

Hello dear blog-o-sphere. More and more, I've been thinking of how I'd like to blog more, but not just that - how I'd like to blog about more. I love writing movie reviews, but I think it's time to expand. In the future, I'd like to fill this blog with a variety of different kinds of entries: journal-style posts, creative pieces, philosophical or even political thoughts... basically, I'd like to open this up for more of an "anything goes" kind of publishing. I'm not sure how well I'll carry through with this, but it's important for me to get this out there so I can feel free to put up any kind of entry I like.

I've been in a bit of a funky mood today. My family just got back from a trip to the mountains, and I'm feeling the time-crunch before school starts. Basically, I've got this week, then next Tuesday I'm off to Canada for 7 days for my cousin Marie's wedding, and then 2 days after that, I will be moving into my dorm. In my mind, this day, August 20, is D-Day. It's when my life ends - I mean changes. When life-as-I-know-it ends. I dunno, this move to college just feels SO big that, wrapped up with the general gloom that summer is ending, it all feels a bit daunting right now.

But that's not what I want to spend the entire post talking about. I was inspired, this afternoon, to pull out a book I haven't looked at in a long time. It's called The Writer's Book of Matches - and it includes 1001 short and simple prompts to get you writing. Random things, either scenes or quotes that are meant to get your brain moving. Example: A reclusive young woman sets out to conquer her phobias. Or in quote form "That is the biggest bird I have ever seen." Anyway, I just wanted to get my mind off things today, so I sat down with one of the prompts and wrote a bit. I thought I'd put it out in the world, just so I have something to do with it. Enjoy!

---

“Go ahead, compare me to your life’s work.

Just once I’d like to know where I stand.”

I glared at Timothy as he lowered his paintbrush and wiped his hands carefully on the rag he kept tucked into his belt. For several months now, I had put up with the steadily-growing group of goddesses his studio featured more and more. All of them seemed to stare at me now, wondering how I dared to invite such a comparison.

When I had first met him, Timothy Smithson had been busy painting landscapes. Flowers, fields, sunshine… all that lovely nature stuff. I thought it was sweet, but a bit boring. Now, I’d give anything to see a bit of grass instead of the gorgeous women that seemed to challenge me from all sides.

He always talked about the changes he wanted to make in each picture, how each should be improved. Over time, they did seem to be evolving, almost turning into woman gorgeous superwoman. I never knew what he was trying for, but over time, I began to understand that it must be his idea of the perfect woman.

Tim blinked in that lazy way that I so adored, only this time it only made me more angry.

“Answer me, damnit!” I cried.

“Julie, the women that I paint aren’t your competition,” he chewed the words around carefully before speaking.

But I didn’t care what he had to say. I was a volcano that had sat dormant for years on end, and nothing was going to stop a full-out eruption now.

“You spend 8-hours a day in this attic, working with these muses of yours… Refining the shape of their bodies, their lips, their eyelashes. How do you expect me to feel?” He knew it was a rhetorical question. “I feel like I don’t even know you lately,” I said with a frown.

“You don’t understand--” he started, but I cut him off.

“And what was with last night?”

It was our third anniversary. We had reservations at Le Petite Diamant, a nice and fancy restaurant downtown. I had spent hours getting ready; he barely made it out the door on time. Over wine and appetizers, we began reminiscing, a sweet conversation for an anniversary.

But then he had become distant, his eyes slightly unfocused, until he scrambled for the scrap of paper and charcoal pencil that he always kept with him. He sketched quietly for a moment, while I took the time to peer carefully over my shoulder.

At the table directly behind us, a beautiful woman sat. You know, the kind that has probably been on a magazine cover at some point in her life? Perfect model features; the perfectly pouting lips, the perfectly flirty eyes; the perfectly fitting dress.

As I looked back at Tim, I carefully glimpsed his sketch, of a face that was already taking shape, a face that looked familiar. In fact, it looked an awful lot like the likely-model behind me. I had made it through the rest of dinner that night, but barely.

“Last night,” he echoed, lamely.

“You couldn’t stop admiring the other women around us long enough to look at me!”

He frowned, but it wasn’t a look of guilt, but rather one of confusion.

“Jules…” he began. He shook his head slightly.

“And then you just had to rush home to paint the bimbo sitting behind us. Never mind that I’m left downstairs on a friday night, on our the night of our anniversary, all alone!”

"I wasn't painting any women from the restaurant," he shook his head again, but didn’t say any more. I let the silence grow for a moment.

“I didn’t mean for it to be like this,” he finally said.

“Like what?” I snapped.

Without saying anything, he turned his easel around.

It was like looking into a mirror. Each of my features had been replicated perfectly. My hazel eyes seemed to glint in the unseen light source. My too-thin lips turned upward in a slight smile. My shoulders were set in a determined stance.

“Wha?” was all I could manage, unable to pull my eyes away from the portrait of myself.

There was a fumbling noise from behind me, and as I turned to see what it was, an astonishing sight met my eyes.

Tim was standing with his palm outstretched, gently cupping a ring. A ring! A diamond ring! My brain raced to catch up with the events happening around me.

“Jules, it’s all been about you. I knew I could never call myself an artist unless I could paint - truly paint - the person in this world who mattered most to me.”

I swayed a little bit, reaching out to steady myself on the table next to me.

“Julie Henderson," he said in a strong voice, "Will you marry me?”

---

Haha, I guess I must have weddings on the mind. But anyway, it was just for fun. It was interesting seeing how the little prompt grabbed me and started sparking thoughts, the way my mind kept adding layers until I had a miniature story. I think I'm going to try using more of these prompts whenever I have some free time and feel like writing. It's a nice exercise for the creative mind I want to develop.

Well, that's about it from me. On a final note, I want to share with you a website I spent some time last week creating. It's basically a collection of my favorite photos - pictures of various parts of my life, my travels, my family, etc. It can be found here. Please enjoy.

Hope your day is cheerier than mine. Cheers.